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The Amateur Engine

by Jason Guy Smiley

/
1.
You always wore a smile Like the world was golden And you lifted up all of your friends Just as high as you could hold em And it's hard to not get pissed When I think of all the cheeks that'll go unkissed Sunday brunches at the bar And sunglasses in the dark All those nights in the parking lot With a bottle of whiskey going shot for shot I've racked my brain and worn out my mind Trying to find a reason why You had to go But the fact is you lived too loud and too fast To die this quiet and slow You were an amateur engine You were an amateur engine You were an amateur engine Who turned the rest of us pro And in my mind you'll always be there Both of our arms thrown in the air While Tom and Greg sing those songs The soundtrack of our nights And in my mind you'll always be Up there on stage singing with me Having the time, having the time Having the time of our lives And in my mind you'll always be there..
2.
Said you were too burned up To love and you smiled Cause you knew that I'd be Standing in your ashes for awhile And I got some bad news Everything I said is true I know you're off it now, but girl I'll never be through And now you're running It's plain to see I never thought that when you ran It would be away from me And I'm not much different Than drugs or booze I'm something you don't really need But you sometimes abuse You loved me in the winter But now it's spring And everyday I fight this feeling Of not meaning anything And now you're running I can relate to that I never thought the day would come that you would Run and not look back If the price of admission For keeping you around Is to quiet down my heart I'll learn not to make a sound Just never listen to me sing Never listen to my songs The next time I say I love you The whole room will sing along And we'll sing..

about

Hogan Smith was my friend. His passing brought those of us left behind together in ways that we saw coming and some that were unexpected, but all of us have viewed life with a new sense of determination. I am so proud of all of his friends for not only making it through the last year, but for doing it with grace and poise and with so much kindness. It is what he would have wanted, there is no question. This song is for him, but in a very real way it is for all of us who felt the impact of his life.

In my mind, you'll always be there.

I love you and I miss you, Hogan. Thank you for existing.

credits

released February 17, 2017

All songs by Jason Guy Smiley.

Amateur Engines:
Hogan Smith, Joe Costa, Patrick Henderson, Nick Voeks

Cover photo by James Meadows.

Special Thanks to Tom May and Austin Corley.

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Jason Guy Smiley Gainesville, Florida

Indie folk from Gainesville, FL.

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